Friday, May 11, 2007

On Death and Dying

I am not obsessed with death. Really. No need for concern. It does seem, however, that the topic has been popping up in my life lately. (And yes, I know I am watching Six Feet Under constantly, but that is just one of the symptoms... I was noticing this even before!).

Exhibit A:
My wonderful companion of nine years, Max, died in March. He was a gorgeous ginger cat... huge, warm and fuzzy... affectionate, full of personality. I know it has been a couple of months now, but I am still feeling this loss pretty acutely. I feel so lucky to have had him in my life.

Exhibit B:
On Easter Sunday I was singing a church gig and during the sermon, the preacher said, "What would you do if you found out you only had one week to live?" For some reason, this really got my attention, and I spent the remainder of the service daydreaming about this. Ultimately I decided I would use my impending demise to force all my talented friends to gather for an afternoon of beautiful music making. This answer rather surprised me. But I just kept thinking of all the music I would never hear again.

Exhibit C:
Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson
I just started reading "Tuesdays with Morrie," on the casual recommendation of a friend. This is a beautiful book. One of the major concepts is..."if you know how how to die, then you know how to live." More on this when I have finished the book.

Finally, Exhibit D:
Six Feet Under: Complete First Season (5pc)
The aforementioned Six Feet Under. In one episode, a crying woman says to Nate, "Why do we have to die?" and he says, "So we know that life is special." or something like that. It seemed pretty profound to me at the time. And now.

So what about all this? As cliche as it sounds, I guess as I get older I am realizing more and more my own mortality and that of those I love. Max's death was such a shock. I still can't really believe he is gone. I am becoming aware of what a short time we have here. What is really important? Why am I here?

More on this, I am sure...

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